Working days I am consumed, I can float like a regular bubble. I can feel being part of something, that I can contribute on somethings. Of course I do not like waking up by the alarm clock and the feeling of leaving the kids behind.
Sometimes it is more liberating coz I do not need to think about others, I only think about myself and my work. But I worry sometimes about home. Lately, I will just feel my anxiety kicking in. Like I will get that Bad call again.
I was at work when my sister in law called me that my brother in law is dead and in the morge. It is not the first time I got calls like this. Shocking call that someone is dead or something really bad happened.
It is like a hole in my brain. I guess it's trauma. A black monster that hunts me, makes me afraid of life. Makes me really afraid that something bad will happen again.
Yah working days can make me float a bit.
X
Haze
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